Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Scared Sheetless

God, that's a lame title.  I've been looking into strategies for how to create effective titles and such, and using profanity is, well, completely NOT recommended.  But then again, originality is, so I guess my title might work.  But then again so might profanity.

Anyhow, on to the point.  I'm scared.  The cost of moving to a new location is quite a bit higher than I thought, which has driven me to do something I have never done and never wanted to do: mooch off my friends.  I particularly dislike it because, in all honesty, I don't know when I can pay them back.  It felt nauseous telling them that.  However, I must have done something right in regards to our friendships because I got several people to lend me money.

And this is just realtor and landlord fees.  I haven't even started saving for the actual move or for cleaning yet.  Already $500 in debt and my business hasn't even started.

I keep telling myself this is how it goes: You just have to sweat it out, and not cave in.  But I am scared.  Caving in is something I've become something of a guru on.  Well, in all fairness to myself, it was something that I was BECOMING a guru on.  Though I haven't taken on a task this daunting in... well, NEVER, I have made it a point to not quite something just because it isn't going well at this particular moment or because it's a bit tough.

I just keep feeling there's something different this time.  Not that this is my "ticket", but that... I cannot fail.  Rather, I can only fail if I choose to quit, which I don't see happening.  It just feels too right to do this, like this is something I could really kick ass at, if I give it my all.

Speaking of which, I'm going to get back to do some research.  A lot of that is gonna be necessary.

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Osaka, Kansai, Japan
a youthful nomad, occasionally assisting the locals in their quest for second language acquisition, often pondering trivial metaphysical questions, reading books, discussing things of no importance, going on adventures and playing a lot of poker.

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