Weird

It's funny to me to imagine that I actually grew up here, yet I feel like, despite the language barrier, I have so much more in common with Japan. People here seem compelled to be outspoken, opinionated and aggressive. It feels abrasive to me. I enjoy the friendliness, but the pace is too much for me sometimes. There's nothing wrong with it, it just hits me that I'm a lot more comfortable going slowly, at my own pace. I'm a really calm, laid back guy, and that doesn't seem to be the norm here. There's a strong compulsion to keep up with everyone around you when, being of the same background and nationality, it feels like that is what is expected of you. But I spent most of my growing up trying to keep up with and please everyone, so I'm not doing it again.

I can see why America can be invigorating and exciting to Japanese people; it's so different, and it's an outlet for people who like that kind of vibe. But again I realize this is exactly why I feel so settled and comfortable in Japan. People here don't share my beliefs or life views. That's ok, I'm just realizing how challenging it is, not only being different but being very alone here. I'd like to try it again some time in the future.